Day 3...ish
So pretty much right off the bat I can say I "failed" at my goals from the last post. However I won't let one day of failure be a reason to give up. This is my life and I can hit reset whenever I want, as many times as I need. So what happened?
-Dad came to visit this weekend, we went out for icecream, went to see a football game (obv. unhealthy food there), didn't spend time at the gym since I wanted to spend more time with family. I also, again, was afraid to weigh myself on those days because I KNEW I wasn't following my plan, and was afraid that the scale would show something like, god forbid, 145 lbs.
And yes, for those who don't know me, that was sarcasm. I am painfully self aware how starting a blog to chronicle a 5 lb weight loss comes across--but maybe some people can relate to how no matter what size I am, I will literally never stop worrying about looking fat, acting fat, being fat, becoming fatter, gaining weight, tight clothes, scale going up and feeling powerless to stop it. It's a phobia, and only about myself I might add. I could care less about if other people are fat, thin whatever, I have no hate towards anyone larger. This is an internal psychological problem I FULLY admit to that. And yes, I am already in therapy, and yes already on medications. But I just need an escape room for my thoughts, and maybe if I put them out in the universe, someone else going through something similar will stumble across this idiotic blog and maybe not feel alone in their phobias. And also, I should add, that this is NOT about becoming sickenly thin or thinspo or ANY of that stuff. I just am trying to stay in my healthy range while dealing with this anxiety/phobia garbage that plays in a repeat loop in my head.
Anyways, today is a new day. A fresh start. A MONDAY.
So what did I do so far?
-Forced myself onto the scale even though I truly truly still hate it: 143.6. Ok not terrible. Not where I want to be yet but not horrible.
-Rearranged the kitchen. Since the holidays, I have somehow amassed a hoarde of chocolates, cookies, granola bars that are candy bars in disguise. If I lived alone, it would all be at the bottom of the garbage (last week I might add) but since I live with my husband and he still eats all of them I arranged them in tupperwares and stored them out of site.
-Had breakfast---100g of yogurt with 100 g of blueberries + coffee with almond milk.
-Now blogging.
Plans for the day:
-Update my planner
-Put laundry away
-Ab challenge and stretch
-Ship a return box from fedex
-Go to gym, get some running intervals in
-Wash hair
-Organize dresser (its a mess)
-Nap before work (working 8 PM-6 AM tonight)
-Dad came to visit this weekend, we went out for icecream, went to see a football game (obv. unhealthy food there), didn't spend time at the gym since I wanted to spend more time with family. I also, again, was afraid to weigh myself on those days because I KNEW I wasn't following my plan, and was afraid that the scale would show something like, god forbid, 145 lbs.
And yes, for those who don't know me, that was sarcasm. I am painfully self aware how starting a blog to chronicle a 5 lb weight loss comes across--but maybe some people can relate to how no matter what size I am, I will literally never stop worrying about looking fat, acting fat, being fat, becoming fatter, gaining weight, tight clothes, scale going up and feeling powerless to stop it. It's a phobia, and only about myself I might add. I could care less about if other people are fat, thin whatever, I have no hate towards anyone larger. This is an internal psychological problem I FULLY admit to that. And yes, I am already in therapy, and yes already on medications. But I just need an escape room for my thoughts, and maybe if I put them out in the universe, someone else going through something similar will stumble across this idiotic blog and maybe not feel alone in their phobias. And also, I should add, that this is NOT about becoming sickenly thin or thinspo or ANY of that stuff. I just am trying to stay in my healthy range while dealing with this anxiety/phobia garbage that plays in a repeat loop in my head.
Anyways, today is a new day. A fresh start. A MONDAY.
So what did I do so far?
-Forced myself onto the scale even though I truly truly still hate it: 143.6. Ok not terrible. Not where I want to be yet but not horrible.
-Rearranged the kitchen. Since the holidays, I have somehow amassed a hoarde of chocolates, cookies, granola bars that are candy bars in disguise. If I lived alone, it would all be at the bottom of the garbage (last week I might add) but since I live with my husband and he still eats all of them I arranged them in tupperwares and stored them out of site.
-Had breakfast---100g of yogurt with 100 g of blueberries + coffee with almond milk.
-Now blogging.
Plans for the day:
-Update my planner
-Put laundry away
-Ab challenge and stretch
-Ship a return box from fedex
-Go to gym, get some running intervals in
-Wash hair
-Organize dresser (its a mess)
-Nap before work (working 8 PM-6 AM tonight)
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